Gracie has never been so active sexually. The desire has been so strong that it’s unbearable. She’s surprised at her own yearning. Sex had always been some sort of a taboo to her. Usually, she was just going through the motion and wanted it to end quickly.
Since she fell in love with Julian, her whole body has been on fire. She has never experienced this kind of intensity both emotionally and physically. Every cell in her body has been charged. she realizes that emotional yearning and physical desire can be both extremely taxing. She finally understands the misery of being in love.
She thought she could find the release from her husband Jonathan but she has ended up more miserable. Every time after the act, she cries silently. She feels as if she is betraying her love for Julian. The yearning is even deeper and stronger. How she wishes the one she loves were Jonathan!
She has tried. Innately optimistic, she comes up with creative ways to spice up their romance, but they are always crushed. She has been either ridiculed, scorned or accused of being too needy.
To Jonathan, everything is based on material needs and practicality. His expectations for emotional closeness or intimacy are very few. Having sex is to satisfy primal needs. Having a wife is to bear children, do housework and take care of his and the kids’ material needs. He doesn’t like intimacy and He doesn’t know what intimacy is like. To him, showing his vulnerability is a sign of weakness. He is proud he can supply for the family. Careerwise, he is very successful. There is no doubt he loves his family. He likes to show them off to the outside world, but to Gracie, she’s more like a trophy wife.
Materially, Gracie isn’t lacking though she isn’t well to do. She doesn’t have many demands. However, she is starved emotionally or spiritually in the relationship department. There’s a lack of intimacy in her relationship.
Gracie has tolerated Jonathan’s insensitivities and criticism for the sake of the kids. She is also very loyal. For a while, she hoped that he would change one day for the better. After 25 years, she has given up her hope. Julian’s appearance has awakened her inner child. She realizes that living in the motion is no longer the option. She’s ready to move on. She just needs to work up the courage to take that first step.
Gracie-Zoe 